In the Discworld novels, Sir Terry Pratchett introduces several streams within the overall universe, each a mini series set in the same world. Death is the main character for some, and the Guards, and of course the Wizards. But my favorite have always been the Witches. My first Discworld book was Wyrd Sisters, and it has remained a favorite ever since.

That said. I’ve always said I wanted to be Granny Weatherwax when I grew up. She’s stern and no-nonsense, and generally the one driving a lot of the plot. She has some of the best lines in the whole of Discworld. But it turns out I’m just not that kind of witch.

In terms of the titular characters, by far I’m Nanny Ogg. A fat, loud kitchen witch with a cat and too many children, some of which aren’t mine. Always hosting something, and a font of useful/less little bits of knowledge doled out as needed in as direct a manner as necessary. The one with the gift of gab, and a whole pile of connections to anyone and everyone I’ve ever met.

That same problem dogs my heels in real life.

While I’m just as capable of dressing up in my Witchy Aesthetic best as the next witch in the neighborhood, I feel… out of place. I don’t mind a kitchy halloween witch, or a glam style witch.

But spooky? Stern? Imposing? Bone crowns and spikes and silver jewelry and “tribal” makeup?

I know I can make myself LOOK that way, but it never feels like ME. I am just not ever going to be the kind of person to pull off looking like I stepped out of a Heilung ritual, no matter how hard I want that to be me.

It is also possible that some of this is due to my world being split between Druidry – which I do practice in specific clothing, but the clothing I practice in is generally just “nice stuff that fits the Druid aesthetic and is functional for leading ritual” – and my practice of witchcraft in private, for which I’m often wearing loose caftans to be as close to skyclad as possible. (Naked Witchcraft is great and all, but I do have neighbors.)

I just don’t really fit the aesthetic.

I did dress up as a spooky rune witch for the Witches’ Bazaar at Denton CUUPS two weeks ago, and that was fun, but I would have had just as much fun without the special effects (and not had a little sore spot on my forehead from my silver antler tiara either!) – and it probably would have felt more genuine to my personality to have done something less costume and more … my own personal style.

Where am I going with this? I saw a video by The Witch of Wanderlust (who absolutely rocks the aesthetic btw) called “You will never feel “Witchy” enough”. It’s fantastic, and if you’ve ever worried if you’re witchy enough, you should watch it.

Because it’s not that I don’t feel like a witch, but there is a lot of pressure to LOOK like a witch – esp with the abundance of that aspirational/envy-based content on Social Media – and I’m giving it up. I look like me, and me is what a witch looks like. I’ll happily wear a witchy hat or whatever, but I am letting go of trying to make it look to an outsider like I am the thing that I am. The aesthetic doesn’t vibe. They can either take it or leave it, based on results, wisdom, knowledge, and the way I am in the world.

Sara Mastros talks about “Getting Witched” – a great class where she talks about this is her Color Magic class here on YouTube, ABSOLUTELY worth your time – and that’s me. I get it. I’ve been there. I’ve walked that crossroads. I am, on any given day, more or less sane – and I got witched a couple of times over the years.*

I don’t have to look a certain way – and neither do you.

*there’s probably a whole series of posts in me about what it means to Get Witched, but that’s for another time.