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Archive for the ‘Dedicant Path Essays’ Category

Meditation Journal – Week 19

Posted in Dedicant Path Essays, Meditation Journal, tagged , , , , , , , on March 18, 2013| Leave a Comment »

Three sitting meditations this week, between 15 and 25 minutes each time. I also did a small ritual to share the bottle of raspberry mead that I promised in my Connections post. I poured out a good glass for me and one for him, and his got poured out over the garden while I sipped my own.

I did not do an official Tea with the Kindreds this week, but I got a lot out of my sharing of mead, so I guess that kind of counts. It was a little different in format, but still serves to strengthen my ties to the Kindreds.

Also, for what it’s worth, I’m pretty sure the God I’m talking to in my meditations is Freyr. This is supported both by the interactions I’ve had and the reading I’ve done, and the more I read, the more drawn to him I feel. I’ll be making a special note of this in my equinox ritual this week.

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Meditation Journal – Week 18

Posted in Dedicant Path Essays, Meditation Journal, tagged , , , , on March 11, 2013| Leave a Comment »

Four sitting meditations this week, about 20 minutes each time, usually focused on breath, or on trees. I also did the Two Powers in two of them, near the end once I was feeling settled. I tried out a new meditation as well, from a book I’ve been reading about mindfulness. Basically it’s a mindful body scan, breathing in and out of your body from head to foot. I’ve been doing this at night as I’m getting ready to fall asleep, and I think I like it.

Did Tea with the Kindreds on Sunday as well, and I think that went well. It wasn’t as conversational as past weeks, but I didn’t feel like I had as much to say (if that makes any sense). I lit cedar incense, since that seems to be a favorite, and shared a mug of tea.

The connection with the spirit that has been visiting in my meditations comes and goes – I’m trying to find ways to reach out that result in more contact, and trees seem to be a good way to do that. I’ve had several mental images of trees come up when I’ve been meditating, so I’ve tried to continue that theme. I’ve also had mental images of an area I spent a lot of time as a child. In the house I spent my elementary years in, we had a large, heavily wooded area at the back of the yard, and there was a small clearing there, near the edge. I used to call it my “nature sanctuary”, and I’d play and make little nature offerings there – which is pretty pagan, but my parents must have just thought it was cute. Anyway, I’ve had that place come to mind several times as well, which has been comforting in a way. Whoever this spirit is, He has a strong connection to trees and nature in some way.

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Virtue Essay: Vision

Posted in Dedicant Path Essays, tagged , , , , , , , , on March 5, 2013| Leave a Comment »

From Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary:

VISION
1

  • a : something seen in a dream, trance, or ecstasy; especially : a supernatural appearance that conveys a revelation
  • b : a thought, concept, or object formed by the imagination
  • c : a manifestation to the senses of something immaterial <look, not at visions, but at realities — Edith Wharton>

2

  • a : the act or power of imagination
  • b (1) : mode of seeing or conceiving (2) : unusual discernment or foresight <a person of vision>
  • c : direct mystical awareness of the supernatural usually in visible form

3

  • a : the act or power of seeing : sight
  • b : the special sense by which the qualities of an object (as color, luminosity, shape, and size) constituting its appearance are perceived through a process in which light rays entering the eye are transformed by the retina into electrical signals that are transmitted to the brain via the optic nerve

4

  • a : something seen
  • b : a lovely or charming sight

From Our Own Druidry (82)

Vision: The ability to broaden one’s perspective to have a greater understanding of our place/role in the cosmos, relating to the past, present, and future.

Vision strikes me as a complicated concept as a virtue since it has so many potential meanings, from the ability to see physically to a more intangible ability to dream and plan for the future. I really like how the ADF definition of this virtue incorporates many of the dictionary definitions in a succinct way – it’s both the physical act of seeing and the spiritual act of foresight and discernment (there’s wisdom again), combined with placing ourselves in the greater path of the Kindreds and the cosmos. I especially like the idea of vision as a manifestation to the senses of something immaterial, since I see my work as a Druid being one of manifesting the immaterial in material ways. Rituals – both big and small – take the forms and ideas about the Kindreds and the Cosmos and make them present as material realities: Fire, Well, and Tree, offerings and blessings.

Vision is more than just divination (though that is definitely part of it). It is the integration of the past, present, and future into a path that can be traveled. There is also an element of challenge to vision, that it expects a lot from us, and does not shy away from the difficulties that create growth.

Part of me suspects, though, that this virtue gets a little bit of abuse in the form of “ADF’s greater vision” – I don’t think that individual Druids, while still displaying the virtue of Vision, will necessarily come up with things that are similar to the core “vision” of the ADF organization and it’s leaders/founders. I don’t know that I always display vision particularly well, and I think group vision is important, as we seek to find ourselves in relationships with each other as well as with the greater beings in the Cosmos, but I don’t think we all have place the same weight on each defined goal to work together in ways that are constructive. As well, I think this virtue means as much our own vision for ourselves as it does our visions as a group.

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Meditation Journal – Week 17

Posted in Dedicant Path Essays, Meditation Journal, tagged , , , , , , on March 4, 2013| Leave a Comment »

Three sitting meditations this week, plus tea with the kindreds. Nothing particularly noteworthy about any of it. I’m becoming more sure of the spirit that has been visiting during my meditations, though I didn’t feel like I made particularly strong contact this week.

I think mostly this exercise has become very perfunctory – I’m doing the exercises to complete a requirement, but I’m not getting a ton out of it right now, because I haven’t had a ton to actually put into it. This is a common thread in most of my practice of Druidry over the last few weeks, related directly to other things in my life. I’ve got some thoughts about that to post later.

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Meditation Journal – Week 16

Posted in Dedicant Path Essays, Meditation Journal, tagged , , , , , , , on February 25, 2013| Leave a Comment »

Not a lot to report this week. I did two sitting meditations that went reasonably well. I spent more time this week thinking about meditation than I did actually meditating. While this is somewhat fruitful and brings some measure of insight, I think I need to channel that impulse into actually doing more meditations.

I did not do Tea with the Kindreds this week, simply because I forgot on Sunday to sit down and do it. I remembered as I was getting into bed last night, and by then it was late, and I start work very early. I’ll be sure to do it this week, maybe more than once. I’m hoping to have a little extra time tonight after work, so I will probably do a mini-Tea then. Since I usually do my weekly rune drawing while I’m doing tea with the kindreds, I didn’t do that part either. Yesterday was just nuts! I’ll do that drawing tonight instead.

Last week’s rune was Kenaz, which I read as “pain” – which turned out to be actually pretty applicable to my week. I had an appointment with one of my doctors. It was a rather surreal sort of visit, as I was told that I should continue to do something (in this case strength training exercises) even though they caused me increased joint pain, since it would be protective in the long run. While I understand the point, it’s still pretty hard to get up the enthusiasm to exercise when I know I’ll just be taking pain medication to help deal with the aftermath (not muscle soreness, actual joint pain).

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Meditation Journal – Week 15

Posted in Dedicant Path Essays, Meditation Journal, tagged , , , , on February 18, 2013| 3 Comments »

3/4 of the way done recording my meditation experiences for my mental discipline requirement!

Another 3 sitting meditations this week, plus Tea with the Kindreds. All went well enough, though my focus is still inconsistent. I did a slightly different version of the two powers this week, this time combining the two powers script with a tree visualization (roots stretching down, leaves reaching upwards). I think I liked it better than without the tree visualization. I like trees, and I’ve been doing various tree visualizations for years, so the combination feels very familiar in a good way.

I encountered the same presence in Tea with the Kindreds this week that I’ve encountered a few times before. Mostly I just said hello and that I was pleased he was there. He and one of my cats have now been introduced as well, since Max came and sat on me in the middle of my tea. I get a very positive energy feeling from these encounters, which is encouraging.

I also thought I might start drawing a rune a week, to help familiarize myself with them more. This week, of course, I drew Kenaz – a notoriously difficult rune to interpret. The question I asked was “What do I need to focus on this week?”.

Kenaz: Torch, Ulcer, Cheer, Pain, Death

Kenaz can be read either as torch (from some rune poems) or ulcer (from other rune poems). I get a generally negative feeling from this rune this time, so I’m not going to jump immediately to the more positive interpretation. I think, though, I understand what this particular rune drawing is trying to say. Not that I am supposed to focus on pain in a wallowing, self-defeating sort of way, but that I should focus on managing and dealing with pain (something I deal with frequently, as I have chronic pain from a joint disorder, as well as dealing with mental illness). It’s not exactly a happy omen, but one that I probably needed to hear.

I’ll try to remember to check back in with this rune throughout the week, and see if my gut reading about it is correct. (On a much more mundane note, I’m going this week to see the specialist who is helping me with pain management as well, so there may be some of that referenced in the reading.)

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Book Review: Gods and Myths of Northern Europe

Posted in Dedicant Path Essays, tagged , , , , , , on February 12, 2013| 6 Comments »

This book review is part of the requirements for the reading list for the Dedicant Path. It intends to fulfill the requirement for the Hearth Culture title.

Davidson, H. R. Ellis. Gods and Myths of Northern Europe. New York: Penguin Books, 1977. Print.

Davidson sets out, in Gods and Myths, to bring together the various poems, sagas, epics, and tales that make up the myths of Northern Europe – specifically those of Germany, Denmark, Scandinavia, and Anglo-Saxon England. After a brief introduction, where she elaborates on some of the developments in archaeology and the study of the Norse cultures, she sets off to build the world of the gods as it was envisioned by various peoples across the northern landscape. She begins with Snorri’s Prose Edda and uses it to set up the basic world view, from Yggdrasill to Asgard, and then addresses the stories of the Gods.

This first section provides a solid overview of the main northern myths, and from there she delves into the assorted myths of each “category” of god myths: Odin, Thor, Freyr and Freyja, Njord, the gods of the dead, and the individual myths and stories that stand out in the sagas, like Mimir, the divine twins, and Heimdall. I found the most traction with the gods of the Vanir – Freyr and Freyja and their father Njord – the gods and goddesses of fertility, peace and plenty. Though these gods had different names in different places, there are threads of similar worship throughout, like being brought around in a wagon and the symbols of horse, boar, and ship.

Davidson ends this well-documented overview by examining the creation and destruction of the world, the great tree of Yggdrasill, the final battle of Ragnarok and the downfall of Asgard as it is presented by Snorri. Here in this last section is the myth of Ymir, the giant whose slain body becomes the world, followed by the great destruction of the world. Davidson argues that there is not a lot of Christian overlay in this description of Ragnarok, despite being recorded by monks, as the fears match up with folk beliefs, with other Indo-European beliefs about the end of the world, and with the geographical and natural perils of the north (203-4).

I was not overly familiar with the Norse myths before reading this book, and I’m glad to have read it. Davidson writes in a very approachable voice, and though at times the constant referencing of various sources can be a little overwhelming without prior knowledge of those sources, I appreciated the cross-referencing to the original tales. After reading this, though, I want to read some of the original sources for myself, especially the Prose Edda (which I already have a copy of). Davidson does a good job of organizing an otherwise disparate and somewhat scattered number of myths into coherent groups, though occasionally she does skip around a bit between them. As an overview of the myths, this is an excellent book, and this book is well placed on the reading list. I was pleasantly surprised at Davidson’s balance between keeping the gods as separate entities while still recognizing that they were clearly influenced by each other, and may or may not have originally been from the same source.

Unfortunately I didn’t feel like this book gave a lot of depth to my personal practice, but I think my lack of familiarity with these myths made that worse. I was absorbed in learning the myths more than I could really think about applying them to my practice. I did definitely feel drawn to the Vanir though, and I will be exploring that connection further to see if I can’t deepen those understandings. I definitely intend to keep this book as a reference.

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Meditation Journal – Week 14

Posted in Dedicant Path Essays, Meditation Journal, tagged , , , , , , on February 11, 2013| 3 Comments »

Three sitting meditations this week, with varying degrees of focus. The only one that really didn’t work was done when my husband was on the phone in the next room, and the cats were trying to claw open the door/yowling outside the door. It was just too much distraction, so after 10 minutes of that I was more annoyed than when I’d sat down. I don’t usually need true quiet to meditate, but I was already agitated, so I couldn’t even get focused on my breath.

I’m not doing the Two Powers meditations as much lately, at least not “officially” – I do still ground and center in my sitting meditation, but it’s less of a visualization than the full Two Powers. I still visit my mental grove each night before I fall asleep, using it as a way to help me relax and not get too caught up in thinking.

I also did Tea with the Kindreds this week, and it went OK. No great revelations, but I am definitely feeling a presence(s) while I do it. More so than in my formal Ewemeolc ritual, which is interesting. I’m hesitant to name them, since I don’t want to be wrong or jump to conclusions, and since they tend to be slightly different each time. I’m trying to be as communicative as possible, and make frequent incense and food offerings to try to open up the connection. I don’t know if this will end up as a patron relationship or just someone I develop a working relationship with.

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Ritual Redux: Imbolc/Ewemeolc

Posted in Dedicant Path Essays, Runes, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , on February 5, 2013| 10 Comments »

My Imbolc/Ewemeolc ritual was performed on Friday, February 1 at 5:00 pm, just after I’d gotten home from work. This was a solitary ADF style rite, following the full CoOR. Using the published ritual template found here, I honored Nerthus as the Earth Mother and Heimdall as the Gatekeeper, and Frigga was the primary patron of the rite, as Queen of the Hearth. I may not use this association in the future, but it’s the one that seemed to fit as I was writing the ritual. I brought the following offerings:

  • Cornmeal for the Earth Mother
  • Milk for the Outdwellers, poured out in the back yard
  • Whiskey for Saga and Heimdall
  • Incense and my silver ring for the Fire/Well/Tree
  • A brownie for the Ancestors
  • Oats for the Nature Spirits
  • Whiskey for the Gods and for Frigga, as well as water shared from the pitcher I used for the waters of life

I offered whiskey even though I can’t drink it myself. All the offerings seemed well received, especially the brownie. Apparently my sweet-tooth is hereditary.

This was the first time I’d tried to go directly from “work mode” into “ritual mode” and the transition could have gone more smoothly. I will give myself more time for meditation next time, as I never really settled into the ritual. Also, this particular ritual script, though I like it a lot, was difficult to say at first – lots of alliteration (which is why I like it) was a little tongue-twistery until I settled into the poetic pattern. I’ll definitely use the ritual outline again though, as I liked it a lot – especially the Norse flavor of the poetry.

I felt like opening the gates went particularly well, but I didn’t feel as well-connected to Frigga as I’d hoped in this particular rite. My ease with the CoOR was definitely more apparent though, as I moved through the various steps, easily anticipating what would come next.

One thing I did notice about this particular ritual template was that I spent a lot more time “setting up” than I did actually celebrating the particular reason for the High Day. In the future, I’ll put more into the “celebration” aspect, so that it will feel more balanced. I definitely feel less at home with the Norse celebrations, so I need to do more research into their associations with High Days (or just do standard Neo Pagan celebrations, which I’m much more comfortable with, and give them a Norse flavor).

All the offerings, once made into their various bowls, were spread in my gardens as part of the blessing of the coming spring. My lime tree is in full bloom, so hopefully we’ll have a bumper crop of limes this coming year.

I drew runes for the first time in a long time for this ritual, since I was honoring Frigga, and it seemed appropriate. I received the following when I asked for the blessing:

  • Uruz – Aurochs: strength, dross
  • Nauthiz – Need/Necessity: oppression, lessons learned
  • Inguz – Ing: fertility, ancestors

I’ll admit to being really unfamiliar with this particular divination tool, so the “textbook” keyword meanings don’t mean much yet. I’ve had to do some researching to find deeper meanings, both in the rune poems and in other sources. From the Anglo-Saxon rune poem, I found the following:

Ur
The aurochs is proud and has great horns;
it is a very savage beast and fights with its horns;
a great ranger of the moors, it is a creature of mettle.
Nyd
Trouble is oppressive to the heart;
yet often it proves a source of help and salvation
to the children of men, to everyone who heeds it betimes.
Ing
Ing was first seen by men among the East-Danes,
till, followed by his chariot,
he departed eastwards over the waves.
So the Heardingas named the hero.

I found that just going to the Rune Poems helped a lot with finding a bigger meaning. From this, I get the following impression of the omen.

You will be given strength as you need it to overcome the coming troubles and trials, but that trouble will lead you toward fertility and peace.

This is, honestly, pretty similar to other omens I’ve been drawing on this Dedicant Path – that things are going to be rough at first, but that I just need to stick with it, and I’ll be glad for having made it through. I’m taking the similar omen to mean I’m not done with the troublesome part yet, which seems about right, as I’m still feeling a lot like I’m in the “action” part of “belief follows action”. Still, I am further along than I was, and I know this will take time.

This message is applicable to my personal life right now as well, which I can’t really discuss here.

It’s also a little trite, to be honest. It’s one of those divination messages that could apply to anyone at any time, and maybe that’s because I asked a very generic “What blessings do you give in return” question. As a blessing, it’s somewhat of a positive one, or at least has a positive outcome.

Either that or I’m totally barking up the wrong tree – a possibility that I’m not leaving behind, as almost every divination I’ve done (or had done) regarding ADF has said something about being troublesome and difficult but with a good outcome. We’ll see how the rest of this year goes.

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Meditation Journal – Week 13

Posted in Dedicant Path Essays, Meditation Journal, tagged , , , , , on February 4, 2013| 3 Comments »

More sitting meditation this week! I have some mental health issues that are cropping up (as they are wont to do a few times a year), and the sitting meditation is, as always, helpful. I’ve had my husband helping to remind me to do it, which is also helpful. I’ve taken up lighting incense as well, so I’m doing most of my meditation sitting in front of my altar.

I had one moment in meditation this week where I was absolutely certain that I was being visited by one of the Gods, though I’m not sure which one. I thought to myself “I wonder if this rose incense is ok?” and I got a very clear “It’s alright, but the cedar is better.” answer that I’m quite sure wasn’t me answering myself (because while I like cedar, I personally kind of prefer the rose). I did not do a tea with the Kindreds, but I will be doing that again this week. I need to find out who likes my cedar incense!

I did the two powers meditation during my Imbolc ritual on Friday (more on that tomorrow), and found that swapping from “work mode” to “ritual mode” was kind of hard. I need to allow more time for meditation if I’m going to do my rituals after work in the evenings.  I’m still working with my mental grove exercises as well, usually in bed just as I’m falling asleep. It helps me to relax and unwind from the day really effectively.

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