Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Thanksgiving is one of the biggest meals I prepare every year, and this year is no exception. Members of my family and my husband’s family will be joining us during the week and over the weekend, and we’ll all be pitching in to create a holiday meal. Since this takes place in my kitchen, I do a lot of the work, and most of the prep, for feeding that many people.

At this point I should mention that both my family and my husband’s family are very devoutly Christian. I’m the only truly non-Christian in the bunch, though my husband is mostly non-religious at this point. I’m not open about my Paganism to my family, and I don’t intend to change that.

I also usually don’t get asked to say grace, both because I’ve been resistant to publicly praying aloud since I was about 8 and because I am usually the one who cooked, so it’s weird to thank myself for my hard work.

This usually means standing by and listening to a very explicitly Christian prayer before the meal, delivered usually by one of the dads, while I say my own prayer in my head. This arrangement isn’t too bad, as I’m not hostile to my family, and I know how much their faith means to them. Still, I sometimes wonder if I couldn’t put together a grace that made both them AND me happy.

I did some digging around on the internet and found a number of resources, but most of the non-Christian prayers were pretty explicitly non-Christian, which isn’t going to work in this case. I did, however, find a few things that I think could work.

First, there are a whole list of possible, short prayers in this post by the Offbeat Mama. For an everyday blessing before a meal in a family of blended religions, there are a lot of good options here (especially check out the comments!)

Second, and my favorite for a formal Thanksgiving prayer, are these from Secular Seasons. I think I’d make a few changes, but this is what I have so far, based on the humanist grace from Secular Seasons:

For this meal we are about to eat, let us be truly thankful
for the blessings of sun and wind and rain, that grow the fruits of the Earth

Let us be truly thankful
for those who planted the crops
for those who cultivated the fields
for those who gathered the harvest

Let us be truly thankful
for those who prepared this food and those who served it.

In this time of plenty let us remember too
those who have no festivity
those who cannot share this plenty
those whose lives are more troubled than our own
and all those who are hungry, sick or cold

As we share in this meal, let us be truly thankful
for all the good things we have
for warm hospitality, loving family, and good company.

Our thoughts go out to family and friends who are not here with us;
We hope that they are safe and well.

May this bountiful meal strengthen our bodies, our minds, and our ties to each other. Amen.

It’s far from perfect, but I think it could work in a pinch. I added in some things to make it fit the kinds of things that usually get said around our Thanksgiving table, as well as adding in a bit about thanking the Earth. If I could say any grace I wanted, I’d say a much more polytheistic grace, but I’d rather avoid having a confrontation with my family at Thanksgiving. I could still get questions about not including Jesus in my prayer, but I think this will be poetic and pretty enough to not prompt too many comments.

I’m going to keep tinkering with it and print off a copy for me to keep in my pocket, in case I get asked to say grace. Always better to be prepared!

Thinking about ADF Druidry

So I’ve been doing this ADF thing for a month, working my way through the Dedicant Path requirements, and I’m finding that there are some things about this process and this path that I really enjoy.

Obviously, the reverence for nature is a big one. I love that Nature – and the Nature Spirits – are a big part of practicing Druidry, and I’m encouraged by the focus on getting outside and being aware of nature in the place where you live. I’m a suburban druid, so there is definitely nature around, and it’s not too far for me to get to a large nature preserve. I’ve spent a few afternoons sitting by the bayou and just absorbing nature and watching the birds and lizards and fish. It’s nice to have that reverence for nature built into the Druid path as a critical part of spirituality. (This isn’t unique to Druidy, and many other Pagan paths also emphasize nature. I just really like this part!)

I also really like the flexibility of the Dedicant Path. Yes, I’m loosely following the Wheel of the Year book, but loosely is definitely the key word there. I’m taking the WOTY book as guidelines and a roadmap, but I’m forging my own path through, especially since I’ve already started or completed some requirements that I “shouldn’t have gotten to yet”. The requirements for the DP are very flexible, and I can see how each person who submits one for approval is going to submit something very personal and different. The questions are all geared to helping you identify “Your Own Druidry”, instead of having you regurgitate what’s in the manual or website information.

At the same time, I appreciate the emphasis on scholarship, at least so far as it can inform your worship of the Kindreds. I like mythology and learning about where and how these Gods and Goddesses were originally worshiped, and what kind of social structure they fit in. I’m not a reconstructionist though, I’m definitely a modern Pagan, looking for a spirituality that fits into my modern life. The balance between scholarship and modern application is one that I really appreciate, and something that I strive to find in my own spirituality.

That said, I’m a little confused about the role of some of the Gods and Goddesses in ritual, but I suspect that will clarify more as I learn more about Them and Their historic worship.

I talked before about my search for a magical system within ADF, and have subscribed to the Magician’s Guild email list. Obviously I’m not going to start working on their study program until I’ve completed the DP (too many projects all at once), but I’m hoping to find out more about how ADF handles magic. If it’s not something I like or think I can work with, I will just continue to work my traditional magic on my own, separate from my practice of Druidry.

I really like that it’s OK for me to do that; there is no law in ADF that says the ADF way is the only way to do things, or even that all members of ADF must do only ADF style rituals or magic. That’s the flexibility aspect again, and as someone who comes to ADF with some already formed preferences about magic and working with the Otherworld, I like that I don’t have to give up on things that I know will work for me. I’m definitely going to give the ADF style a try – that’s what this year on the Dedicant Path is for, after all – but I like that if it doesn’t suit my own way of doing things, I’m not locked into a practice I dont like. Even the Dedicant Path only requires that you follow the COoR for 4 of your 8 High Day rites!

I’m sure I’ll have other thoughts as I process my way through the Dedican’t Path. I’m about 1/4 through my second book (Margot Adler’s Drawing Down the Moon), and finding that there were both a lot of things I knew and a lot of things I didn’t know about the modern Pagan movement. Reflections on this book should be interesting, given my background.

For now, though, I’m really enjoying this path of Druidry. It’s not immediately home, and there are some points that stick out at me, but on the whole, I think I’ll enjoy my year as a Druid. Who knows, maybe I’ll end up staying!

Meditation this week was all about clawing out a little space for my own mental peace and quiet. Things are getting busy for the holidays, and I expect next week will be hard on my meditation practice, as there will be 8 people in my house instead of 2. Mostly this week I did sitting meditation (and standing-in-the-shower meditation), trying to find a little space between my thoughts and return to deep, calm, centered breathing. Sitting on the floor in the shower is surprisingly good for this!

I find practicing meditation really helps with managing my stress levels, and I want to make time (once things settle down a little) to do more trance-oriented meditations.

Secret Druid Tip: Commute

Most of us have a daily commute, whether on foot, on a bike, in a car, or on a bus. This Secret Druid Tip is a challenge to find a bit of nature on that commute – even if it’s just the weeds in the sidewalk – and recognize the Nature Spirits that live there. Say hello to them, watch how they change over the course of a week or a month. If you can, bring a little offering – a silver bead for a little stream, a bit of clean water for some weeds, a pecan for a squirrel. See if this helps you feel more in tune with the Nature Spirits around you.

I really enjoy divination. I especially like the tarot – my main deck is the DruidCraft deck – and I’m learning the ogams. Tarot has a lot more possible outcomes and gives both clear and nuanced readings, and my ogams seem to speak very clearly about things. Neither oracle pulls punches, and both can have a sense of humor when they need to.

I’ve had some questions about how I do my divination though, and how I got “good” at it (I’d argue that I’m only familiar with it, not always good at it, even though I love doing it!).

As a caveat, there are as many ways to do divination as there are seers. Some people watch bird flight, or smoke trails, or clouds, or the wind. I am not that good, and I really need some kind of symbol, something tangible to work from. I’m assuming that’s the kind of divination you’ll be doing, but feel free to disregard it if you’re doing your divination by fire-gazing (or whatever)!

So, how can you get comfortable with divination?

Start with just one symbol at a time.

There’s nothing wrong with a one symbol drawing. It’s a good way to start, and if you want a straight up answer, it’s a great way to get one. If you have a question with a yes/no answer, flip a coin! There are hundreds of patterns you can place symbols in, from 3 symbol Past-Present-Future spreads to the famous 10-card Celtic Cross tarot spread. Don’t think you need to start big though. I rarely draw more than 3 or 5 symbols at a time.

Don’t be afraid of picking the wrong symbol.

The beauty of divination is that when you approach an oracle, the right answer will come up if you trust it to. Sometimes it doesn’t make sense right away, but trust your oracle, your guides (whether they’re generic spirits or particular members of the Kindreds), and your own intuition. Be fearless!

Look up what the symbols mean!

It took me years to get proficient with tarot, and there are still times I want to look up a particular card because I’m having trouble placing it within a reading. I’m still new to the ogams, so every reading I do consists of drawing fews, writing them down, and then looking up where they are in my ogam chart, in the Green Man Tree Oracle book, in Erynn Rowan Laurie’s Ogam: Weaving Word Wisdom, and Skip Ellison’s Ogam: The Secret Language of the Druids. Every reading I get something new to add to my mental list, and my notes on each divination consist of little scratched words and phrases as I try to suss out what the bigger picture is.

If you get a set of symbols that you just don’t understand, say “I don’t understand, can you be more clear” and draw another one as a clarifier.

Sometimes divination is really clear – sometimes it’s clear as mud. I’ve had conflicting readings, confusing readings, even readings that suggested I was asking the wrong question (that’s always fun – ask about one thing and pull out a set of cards that all point at a different part of your life. Thanks deck, I see you have your own ideas!). Adding one more item to the set may make the whole reading come together, and I end up using a clarifier a good percentage of the time, especially for larger readings.

Allow your intuition to speak when you’re putting together the meaning of a drawing.

This is the most creative, intuitive part of a reading for me. If you’ve used a spread that has specific positions, that can be easier than a generic 3 item drawing. I write down what they mean in my notebook, taking little half-sentence notes and picking out the bits that stick out at me, even if they don’t seem to apply right away. Then I look at the big picture and try to find a way to combine the three meanings into a larger sentence that “feels” right. Sometimes I try two or three before I find one that fits. Usually that sentence will contain the major word cues for each symbol – a reading with Rowan would include the word “protection” in the overview sentence. It’s certainly not an exact science, and it’s hard to describe when you know you’ve gotten the general overview of a reading.

Don’t place too much stock in the overview sentence either – you can be really successful without writing these, what’s important is getting a picture of the reading as a whole. I like this technique for bringing together a multiple symbol reading, but it doesn’t work for everyone. Paragraphs are a totally legitimate way to explain a reading!

My biggest suggestion, though, is to keep practicing.

Draw a rune a day (or week) and write down what it means – even just a short, one word meaning. Ask the Kindreds what they have in store for you, or what you might be missing about a situation (that’s my favorite question to ask). The more you familiarize yourself with your oracle, the more comfortable you’ll feel doing the readings. Even if you never get past the 3 word meanings, you’ll be able to draw a meaningful oracle in a ritual.

Not everyone is called to be a seer or diviner, but I think everyone has the capacity to do basic divination for themselves. It’s a critical part of the COoR, and (for me) a critical part of doing magic. I do divination before I attempt any magical work, to see what the Otherworld has to say about what I’m attempting. It’s a good way to get clarification on a process, and sometimes you get a very clear “Hey stupid, don’t do that!” answer.

If you’re having trouble connecting to one of the Kindreds, make an offering with connection in mind, ask them what they would like you to do to build connection, and do a reading! Divination is one of the most concrete ways we have of connecting to the Otherworld, and it’s a skill worth cultivating, even just to get a basic proficiency.

Right Now in the Swamp

Fall is slowly creeping in here, with the leaves on some of the trees turning and falling. Many of the trees here are Live Oaks though, so they’ll keep their leaves until spring, when the new leaves will push the old ones off the trees. Our yard has mainly a southern variety of weeping Ash trees and a Poplar tree (plus palm trees of various types), so we’ll be dealing with fallen leaves for a bit longer. The grass is mostly dormant at this point, so we’re only mowing once every 2-3 weeks. Things are looking pretty dry, so I’m hoping we get some rain soon.

The monarch butterflies are pretty much gone by now as well – they pass through here on their southerly migrations, so we get a good number of them. They’re one of the reasons I really love my butterfly garden in the fall. Sadly my salvias don’t seem to be doing well – I will try giving the garden a good watering, but they just don’t seem to be making it right now. Which is sad, as they were huge and gorgeous.

We also had a cold front this week, so some of the less hardy potted plants are coming inside. We need to build a drape frame for our lime tree as well, since it’s now too big to keep in a pot, and will need to be sheltered if it actually gets cold. Our lows this week are in the lower 40F range, so some of the tropicals definitely need to join the dumcane inside the porch. This will be interesting with the plumeria, which has gotten so large that we’ve put it’s pot on a wheeled platter. I’m not sure it will fit through the porch door, but I guess we’ll find out!

The lizards know where the warms are and have been attempting at cost to life and limb to get inside the house or screen porch. Unfortunately the cats think they’re both fun and tasty, so we’ve found a few corpses and made a few rescues so far. That will likely continue through the winter.

It’s probably time to get the bird feeders up as well. (Or the squirrel feeders, really) There won’t be any more hummingbirds this year for sure; we only saw two all summer, which was sad. Usually there are tons. I wonder if the climate is affecting their migration, or maybe we didn’t have the feeders up soon enough or something. I love having birds in the yard, especially when it’s cold – we’ve had breeding pairs of cardinals and bluejays for a few years now. The wrens usually make a nest in the yard (or in the wreath on my door), but I’ve yet to find a seed they’ll eat. I think they’re more interested in the bugs living in my potted plants.

I’m not planting a winter garden this year, mostly because things were too crazy when I would have needed to get it planted. Instead, we’ll compost the garden plot with leaves and kitchen compost over the winter. It could stand to rest for a little bit anyway, especially since we planted corn this summer. I don’t think I’ll grow corn again, just because it takes up a lot of space for not a lot of produce in the end. Maybe one more try now that I’ve done it before, but I’m not sold on corn as a backyard crop.

The days are approaching their shortest now, and the sun has already set when I get home from work at 5:30. The sun is about 15 minutes shy of rising when I get to work at 6:30am.  Having it be dark when I leave and dark when I get home is hard, but at least I still get some afternoon sun on my commute home.

Prayer vs. Magic

One of the email lists I’m part of has been having a really interesting discussion about the difference between prayer and doing magic. I firmly believe there’s a place for both in Paganism, and as I read more about Druidry, I’m hoping to find a balance between the two there as well.

To me, prayer is talking to/with the Kindreds (Gods, Ancestors, Nature Spirits) – prayer is essentially about communication, though it can be about asking for things. But asking for things through prayer removes the control from the situation. You’ve asked your Deity for something, and now you wait to hear their answer. (Which is a little like meditation – prayer is the talking part, meditation can be a listening part (though it can also be other things))

Magic, on the other hand, is taking a situation into your own control. It says “I’m going to do X, Y, and Z, with things A, B, and C, in accordance with my will and energy, to create result Q.” I might ask for a blessing on the work from Diety/ies, but I am the one doing the work, and I am therefore responsible for the result.

In a metaphysical sense, I see magic as a way of stacking the deck of events, an idea I got from the blog Rune Soup. Basically, in a world where any outcome is possible, magic stacks the deck in favor of the outcome going a certain way. The more out of control the possibilities, the bigger the magic has to be to have any affect. My favorite example is the lottery example, which says that if your odds are 1 in 6 million to win, and you do magic really well, and reduce those odds to 1 in 1 million, you’re still likely not going to win the lottery, even though the magic worked.

So far, in ADF, I’ve heard a lot about prayer, especially as it relates to piety (which I see as both prayer and devotional action). The ADF-Dedicants and ADF-Discuss lists have talked about conversational prayer, petitionary prayer, and especially offertory prayer – prayer used as part of an offering of praise. Though spontaneous prayer is definitely common, the major rituals are often formulaic or formula driven prayers, and Ceisiwr Serith’s Book of Pagan Prayer is quoted often as a starting point. The Book of Pagan Prayer is a collection of prayers to various Dieties for specific occasions, and many of the prayers are lovely and powerful.

They are not, however, acts of will-driven magic. I’d like to think there’s a part of ADF that would have a space for magic as well.

ADF ritual is, in some ways, thematically magical – you do the offerings to get the blessings, ideally the blessings that you are asking for. The *ghosti relationship that defines how ADF relates to its gods encompasses both being a good guest and being a good host, and the reciprocal hospitality that goes along with it. This can be argued as being a form of magic – you’re not just begging for something, you’re building a relationship whereby you can ask things of the Gods and they can ask things of you. Still, it’s not a personal-responsibility sort of system at its core. Yes you’re responsible for making the offerings, but you’re still at the whim of the Gods when it comes to what blessings you receive. If you’re asking for Patience, you may find yourself more patient… or you may (more likely) find yourself in situations that try your patience mightily, and have to figure it out for yourself.

I’m looking for a system that has space both for magical work and for prayer – for creating a deep relationship with the Gods, for petitioning the Gods for blessings, and for working to create change around me. I can see situations where I might do both prayer AND magic for something.

Say, for example, I’m looking for a new job. In addition to doing the “fill out job applications and send them in” ritual, I might pray for the foresight to find openings around me, but I might also do magic to open new pathways and do strong sending magic on the applications before I mail them out/deliver them. Before an interview, I might pray for comfort and reduction in nerves, but also do some sympathetic magic to sweeten the relationship between myself and the interviewer, so that I make the most favorable reaction. I’d be doing divination around all of this to determine if something is the right path for me going forward, or to help me see the unseen in a new situation.

Ideally, I’d be using my own will and the power I can raise myself to direct change, and asking for additional power and blessings to aid that work from the Gods. They may choose not to aid me, but I am still the one initiating the work, and still the one ultimately responsible for the outcome. This seems very different than asking the Gods to fix or change something for me.

Which comes down to my interactions with the COoR.

The Core Order of Ritual is a devotional format designed to enact the basic “magic” of Druidry – the *ghosti relationship of offerings and blessings. There’s a section in the end, after the receiving of blessings, where there’s a note that “any magical workings should be conducted here”.

If I’m honest, I find that a little disruptive so far. The state of mind that I enter to devote my time, prayer, praise, and offerings to the Kindreds is not the same state of mind that I enter to work magic. Maybe I’ve just not experienced the true energy of a well-done COoR rite yet (which is possible, I’ve only experienced my own), but I find that I’m wanting to work magic in a different context. Not even that I’m looking to cast circles and do Neopagan like magic. More like I’m interested in Traditional Witchcraft type magic, with sympathetic magic and symbols and sigils and herbs and candles and lots of home-grown energy sent out in the direction of some change.

As a solitary Druid, I’m working my own magic on my own time and schedule, so I can do that magic separately or in a ritual as I so desire. However, I don’t know how well a very personal magical working would go in a large group setting like a Grove. Magic works best when it is focused and well-directed, and a congregational style setting isn’t really one where I see getting focused and well-directed results, even in a group with the best intentions. It’s hard enough with a small coven of Witches who are all used to working together and who are well briefed on the imagery and chants and symbols beforehand! The advantage of a group is that you can tap into more energy, but without good focus and an agreed upon, specifically defined result, you get fuzzy magic. And fuzzy magic makes for fuzzy results.

Maybe this is possible in a small Druid setting more than it would be in a more congregational style grove ritual. I imagine there are both types of gatherings, just as there are in any community-oriented religion. That still means separating magic from the COoR though. (And there’s no rule that you have to use the COoR all the time either, so maybe my focus on that is unnecessary.)

So how does this all fit together into Druidry? Do I just separate my magic from my prayer and devotional rituals, since I see them as different things, or is there a new kind of magic I need to learn, a kind that fits into the COoR better?

Obviously a balanced practice has both prayer and magic, and I want to think there’s room for both in Druidry. I’m just having trouble finding the place where magic fits.

Meditation Journal: Week 2

My after work meditations this week felt almost stifling, so instead of continuing with my usual sitting meditation, I went with a more movement-oriented meditation.

I ran across this Deep Peace of the Trees meditation from OBOD* and was reminded of a grounding and centering exercise I used to do for Tai Chi that was based on the movement “Embrace Tiger and Return to Mountain”. Instead of the actual movement in the sequence of Tai Chi, it isolates a repetitive series of movements that are intended to balance lower and upper, inner and outer. We did these as a warm up and cool down to every Tai Chi class.

At it’s very basic, it’s two full, slow breaths – Reach up, reach down, pull in, push away.

  • Standing with your feet shoulder width apart and your knees slightly bent, inhale and bring your arms up in front of you, moving your hands along your midline until they reach up over your head. As you do this, straighten your knees.
  • When your hands are fully above your head (but elbows are still soft), exhale and swing your arms out to the sides and down, rotating your palms to face down once they reach shoulder level and bending your knees again. At the bottom, cross your hands at the wrists, left hand in front, so your palms are facing your body.
  • Now inhale, uncrossing your arms, and pulling your elbows back at your sides, drawing your hands to your waist, palms face up, straightening your knees.
  • Then exhale and push away from you, keeping your elbows close to your sides and your palms rotating around so they are facing away from you, knees bending again.

I do this exercise in sets of 9 movements. Usually just one set of 9 is enough to make me feel calm, relaxed, balanced, and open to a more heightened state.

I thought this, or some variation on the OBOD meditation might help when I was having trouble focusing (this week was high stress at work, which I think is the source of my lack of focus). I was right, and switching to a moving meditation provided me with the grounding and centering I so needed after dealing with lots of stress and anxiety at work. I need to remember to do these moving meditations more often, since they seem to be extremely effective for me, especially when I’m having trouble getting my mind to settle into seated meditation.

*For all the negative things that happen on YouTube, I love finding Druidry there. Maybe I can help work to broaden the presence of ADF on YouTube once I get a little more established. 

Secret Druid Tip

From the ADF-Dedicants list this week:

Some of us make our offerings while standing at the elevator pouring part of our cup of water into a nearby potted plant

If you’re a Druid in the Office like I am, here’s a little way to honor the Nature Spirits around you, even if they’re little Office Nature Spirits.

There are two plants in my immediate cubicle, plus a number of assorted low-light plants around the office. I could make a little splash of water in offering to them pretty much unnoticed, and it would take me awhile to visit them all. Just one more creative way to bring Druidry into the mundane aspects of life.

Ogham Reading: Ancestors

Recently I’ve noticed a trend of pulling the Iodhadh few in a number of readings. Iodhadh is the ogham for Yew, and can mean a number of things. It’s the “death” few (in the Celtic sense of death and rebirth more than the “you’re gonna die” sense), but it can also stand for the Ancestors.

That’s been the interpretation I’ve felt more often – that I need to be listening to the wisdom of the Ancestors. So yesterday I did a reading specifically to ask them what their guidance was. I lit incense and a candle as offerings, said a small prayer, and asked what wisdom they had for me, what perspective they thought I needed to know.

This was the result:

  • Iodhadh (again) – Yew – Ancestors, Death and Rebirth, Transformation
  • Fern – Alder – Protection, guidance
  • Luis – Rowan – Magical protection, beauty and delight

Persevere in your transformation and allow yourself to be reborn; we will protect and guide you to a place of magic and safety.

Perhaps I should be reading more as “death and rebirth and transformation” then. I suppose that’s pretty clear. (I almost get the feeling of “No, you moron, we mean death and rebirth. Really!”) The Dedicant Path is nothing if not a path of transformation. I’m hesitant to call this a reading that confirms I’m where I’m supposed to be, but internally I feel this was a reassuring sort of reading (as reassuring as it can be to get “Death”). Sort of a “stick with it and we’ll help you” message that is nice to get when you’re in the middle of things.

I also need to make myself some ogham flash cards. I’m still having to look up most of the fews. I know that will get better as I get more used to reading with them, but I could stand to speed up the process!