Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Pagan Friendships and Mentors

December 5, 2012 by Lauren M

I’ve been reading Drawing Down the Moon as the next book in my DP studies, and I recently finished with the section on Feminist Craft.

While I have never been part of that aspect of Paganism, that section of the book brought to mind how much I have valued the women mentors and friends I’ve made in Paganism, by extension the male mentors and friends I’ve had as well. Something about that section emphasized community and growth and mentorship in a way that made me really think back on and value the people I’d worked with. I’ve been lucky enough to have really good Pagan friends – never very many at one time, but a few that I could really open up to, and those people are really special to me.

I’ve also always had the luxury of having someone who acted as a mentor to me in the Paganism, and right now I’m feeling a little like that’s missing. ADF is more self directed than my previous forays into Paganism, especially given my reticence to approach my local grove. I’m still waiting on my assignment of a mentor for the DP. (I emailed the preceptor a month ago, and emailed to get an update this week, but I’ve not heard anything back at all.) While I know that an automatically assigned mentor isn’t necessarily going to be someone I can turn to immediately, I’m hoping I can build a relationship that will help guide me through this process.

I think best in conversation, and I’m very lucky to have a very good friend who has been involved in Paganism (of some flavor or another) for a long time. He’s currently closest to being Asatru, but is familiar with and has worked with ADF in the past, and he’s been a sort of sounding board for a lot of my thoughts. He puts up with my random text messages about Druidry, for which I’m very grateful. There’s really a lot of power and comfort in sitting down with someone you trust and just seeing what comes out of your brain.

I’m also building a relationship with my Regional Druid, who has been extremely helpful in letting me bounce ideas off her and giving me much-desired feedback on my Druidic musings and first steps.

The structure of ADF has been very welcoming in general, and I’ve had several people email me in welcome over the last month. Now I just need to build on those relationships and hopefully build some spiritual friendships with the various members of ADF. I find those kinds of friendships to be good for my connection to the Kindreds – having, as it were, a kindred spirit to talk with and share experiences with.

Obviously I’m not in a position right now to be a mentor or teacher for ADF – I’m still way too new. But maybe I’ll be good enough to mentor other Druids someday.

Posted in Dedicant Path, General Things | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

Cultivating My Mental Grove

December 4, 2012 by Lauren M

As part of the Dedicant Path, meditation is stressed as a way to increase focus and mental control and as a way towards trance and strong visualization. These are all elements necessary for successful magic, but also have other benefits, like stress reduction and lower blood pressure and better sleep.

I’m not very good at “trance” style meditation. Ok, I’m not that good at sitting meditation either, but that one seems to be easier to do with no practice. You just need a place to sit. For trance or journeying meditation, you need somewhere to go. While I suppose I could go looking for some published guided meditations (and I do already use the Two Powers meditation as a recording), I’m working on building a Mental Grove – a place I can start from in trance journeys as a way to enhance my focus and meditation.

I figure if I do this frequently enough, I’ll have created enough of a memory that it will become automatic to go there, and I can work on journeying outside my Mental Grove as part of my other devotions. I’d eventually like to use this as part of my way to discover/reconfirm my Patrons. The God and Goddess that I worked with as a solitary, before I was doing coven work, are actually from two different Pantheons (Irish and Gallic), though related, and I know that’s generally frowned upon in ADF, plus I’d like to be more open to other Gods and Goddesses.

But that’s for later.

I started this process after I’d done a 10 minute sitting meditation, doing the Fire, Well and Sacred Tree chant that I described yesterday in my meditation journal. From there, I started building, in my mind, a grove of trees, centered on a giant, ancient oak – the sprawly, long limbed kind that we have down here in Texas. This tree is enormous and gnarled, but still very much alive, and its branches reach out and touch the ground in some places. I walk through the clearing around it and up to the big tree, and I duck under the branches.

That’s as far as I got on the first day, except that I very clearly saw a Stag there under the tree.

The next night, I did a sitting meditation again (though probably only for 5 minutes, I didn’t time that one), and then rebuilt the grove in my mind, this time going up to the tree itself. Next to the roots of the tree, welling up from some rocks, was a spring of water. Beside the water I kindled a small fire in a circle of stones. (My rational brain says NO DON’T LIGHT A FIRE UNDER A TREE, but this is an imaginary exercise, so I tell that part of my brain it’s OK, that no trees will be harmed, because it’s a magical fire. My rational brain needs to be talked to gently, or it gets a little out of control.*)

From there I sit down in front of the Fire and the Well, under the branches of the Tree, and I allow myself to look around. I saw the Stag again, and a Rabbit. That’s as far as I got the second day.

I skipped a few days after that, because life got crazy, but then last night I did the full Mental Grove ritual and allowed myself to really look around. The Stag returned, but this time there was also an Owl in the branches of the tree. I did not speak to them, but they seemed to be comfortable with my presence.

I’m looking forward to continuing this, if only because I find it extremely calming. It’s obviously not a replacement for getting outside into actual nature, but I can’t always get away from neighborhood noise. Also, in my Mental Grove, there are no mosquitoes. I’m hoping to build a strong mental memory around it, and then see what’s around outside the little Mental Grove.

I’m excited to see what I find.

*now I sound like a barking moonbat. I promise, I’m only the good kind of crazy.

Posted in Dedicant Path, Meditation Journal | Tagged , , , , , , | 7 Comments »

Meditation Journal: Week 5

December 3, 2012 by Lauren M

This weeks “little” meditations went well – I’m definitely seeing stress reduction from just 2 or 3 minutes of focused, counted breathing. I tried adding words to some of my longer meditations, instead of counting. So instead of in 4, hold 2, out 4, hold 2, I did Fire-and-well (inhale), and (hold), Sac-red-Tree (exhale), (pause) – almost like a slow chant in my head. I also added a visualization to this exercise, placing myself in a grove of trees with a well and a fire at the center, next to a large, sprawling, ancient oak. Various animals show up in this exercise (or sometimes none at all), but usually those that I have a connection with, either as Nature Spirits (owl, rabbit, toad) or as Deity (stag).

I’ll definitely continue to do this, as I find it more centering than the counted breaths. I may also do this with a mala or some prayer beads to count repetitions instead of using the meditation timer on my phone.* It might also be fun to look up other mantras to use, or to come up with some.

I still need to look more into adding trance-like meditations. Maybe it’s time to start really working with the Two Powers meditations, or look into some guided meditation journeying.

*I use the meditation app “Meditator“, which has some nice features and chimes in such a way that it’s not disruptive. It also will do “intermediary” tones, so you can do a 10 minute meditation with a soft “reminder” tone every 2 or 2.5 minutes, for example. I’m a fan.

Posted in Dedicant Path Essays, Meditation Journal | Tagged , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Secret Druid Tip: Password

November 30, 2012 by Lauren M

At work, I have to change my password every 90 days, which is just about right in time with the changing seasons.  For a daily (or multiple times per day) reminder, make your password a cue to take a deep breath and remember your connection to the season and to nature.

This has the added benefit of helping you remember what your password actually is.

Note: If your IT department sometimes requires your password to access or troubleshoot your computer, choose seasonal, rather than holiday, passwords. Not that I expect my IT department to know what Imbolc is, but it’s still easier to explain SpringFlowers.

Also Note: This is how I come up with the BASIS for my passwords. Obviously most passwords are required to contain special characters and numbers, but there are lots of ways to add those in, once you have a good, rememberable base word.

Posted in Secret Agent Druid | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment »

To Tree or Not To Tree

November 29, 2012 by Lauren M

I do a lot of work to bring my Druidry into my life in a way that I can be happy with how it’s incorporated but also keep a very low profile. This runs me into trouble occasionally, but most prominently around the holidays.

My family is extremely Christian (they think being non-Christian is grounds for divorce, among other things), and so I have to smile and nod a lot, and let them continue to think what they want about me and what I believe. I need their support due to physical and mental health reasons, and I really value having a close relationship with them, so that arrangement doesn’t bother me most of the time. The good outweighs the discomfort, and it’s usually easy to dodge religious conversations or to talk generically about hope and blessings.

But around the holidays, it gets troublesome. I can sit through a Christmas Eve service without too much fuss (just like I sit through an Easter service every year as well), but it always feels a little hollow. I haven’t been struck down yet, but I am still not really comfortable in church, even if I love the Christmas carols.

I want to celebrate the Winter Solstice, to bring evergreens into my home as a reminder that the world will become green again. To decorate with the symbols of winter and nature. I can put up with Santa and the secular western Christmas holiday, but my family always gives me nativity sets and asks why I don’t have the advent wreath up.

I know that a lot of the symbols of this holiday are cross-cultural or have become secular. Many of the “traditional” Christian symbols, like Christmas trees, are borrowed from earlier Pagan ones and have become acceptable as part of the secular celebration of Christmas. Even if the actual Christmas Tree is a relatively young tradition, bringing evergreens into the house is quite old. Even the celebration of Christmas in December is a bid to appropriate an existing holiday and Christianize it.

Knowing all that, unfortunately, doesn’t help much with the practical applications. I’m expected to send Christmas cards. I use the excuse of not wanting to have to send out two different cards to send a very nature oriented, non-Christian-specific card, but it’s still seen as buying into their religious tradition. In return, I get a mailbox full of Jesus cards that I don’t want to put up on my mantle.

On some level, I appreciate being a closeted Pagan. It stretches my imagination, and I enjoy using symbols and items from Paganism to make the celebration of holidays my own in a way that other people will enjoy without knowing that they’re being Pagan.

I also truly love the decorations and celebrations this time of year. They give me the warm fuzzies, and I love participating in those traditions with my family. I love putting up holly and evergreens, pinecones and red ribbon, cranberries, oranges, and candles. I love having a tree decorated with white lights, red ribbon, birds, animals, and little nature scenes. My family has even bought into it, buying me new “Winter Woodland” ornaments for my tree every year (just as they buy snowmen for my aunt and Santas for my mom and snowflakes for my cousin). I even love a lot of Christmas music, though not the tinned, Christmas-Pop stuff they play in stores on eternal repeat. And cookies are pan-religious, right?

It’s easy to decorate for fall or spring, but for some reason decorating for Yule/Christmas is the one time that I feel conflicted, no matter how much I love and cherish having those decorations up in my house.

Even knowing that Yule/Winter Solstice and Christmas are pretty well intertwined, I still feel a bit like a bad Pagan. There are so many good, non-religious things to celebrate during the “Holidays” (which is one reason I love Thanksgiving so much), so I question why it bothers me so much. I can celebrate rebirth, family, warmth, hope, joy, blessings, and the new year without ascribing to any religion at all. I’m not sure why I still feel isolated by my beliefs in the midst of all the secular good vibes.

Even with a beautifully decorated tree in my living room and a hand-made wreath on my door, it puts a damper on my celebration to feel separated like I do. My Pagan beliefs are sustaining and meaningful, but I’m missing out on the community aspect of celebration. I think I’m just missing feeling unified with my family this time of year. Perhaps I should look into doing Grove work (though I’ll be out of town for the local Grove’s Yule celebration). I like being a solitary, but I also like working in a community, and this time of year I crave that community aspect more than others. (Odd for it also being a very introspective time of year in the Wheel.)

I don’t know that there’s an easy solution to all this. I’m obviously still going to decorate, and still going to celebrate on my own time. I’m still going to make cookies (in the shape of holly leaves and spirals), eat oranges to celebrate the sunshine, hang stockings, light candles, and give gifts.

Maybe I just need to work on accepting where I am, and just let myself love the holidays for what they are.

Posted in Seasonal Things | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Druid Altar Styling

November 28, 2012 by Lauren M

I’ve had an altar of some form or another in my home for quite some time (right now, I actually have two). ADF style rituals have specific things they need in terms of supplies and bowls, receptacles for offerings, and representations of the Fire, Well, and Tree. As such, before I did my Samhain ritual I went and did some altar styling to give myself a better workspace for ADF rituals.

This is the result (more or less):

My World Tree is pretty obvious – that’s a piece of driftwood that I found on a local beach. In front of that is my Well, a hand carved bowl from South Carolina. And then two representations of Fire in front of that – the three candle cluster and an incense burner. Those three items set up the ADF cosmos for each ritual. (I do not always leave the World Tree standing up, as it’s not super stable that way and is a bit off balance.)

There is a clear glass vase for holding liquid offerings, plus an offering bowl and a cup to drink from. The offering bowl and the cup are a matching set that I’ve had for years, and I like that they match. My offerings to the Kindreds go in a vessel that matches the vessel they give me the Blessings in.

The two taper candles are there for extra light and because I like candles. Also on the altar are some owl figurines, a Nature Spirit I’ve long had associations with (along with Toad and Rabbit), plus a little green man figurine, a big wooden acorn, a sand dollar, a holey stone that a friend brought back for me from a trip to the Middle East, and an aspen-leaf candle holder. These are all things that have spiritual significance for me, though I do eventually want to get some small shelves to get the figurines up off my working space.

The altar itself is a wooden cube bookshelf I got from (I think) Target, and I store all my Pagan and magical supplies in the closed baskets, with assorted books in the other open shelves. This sits in my craft room/spare bedroom, so it has to be dismantleable in a short time in case of guests. It pretty easily turns back into a bookshelf top with some assorted candles on it without much trouble.

Since I’ve used the altar a few times now, I’ve already made a few changes. I moved the offering bowls and offering pitcher to the right side of the Fire, so that I can pour offerings without setting my arm hair on fire (that smelled lovely, let me tell you). I also now have a set of wooden oghams, and those live on the upper left side of the altar most of the time as well, for daily drawings. I also added the two woodburned world tree symbols that I got from the Magical Druid. They sit to either side of the tall World Tree.

I do my sitting meditation on the floor in front of this altar, sitting on a big floor pillow. I often burn incense, and that creates a nice ambiance. Because it’s a bookshelf, I have to stand for rituals, so I’ve taken to putting my scripts in a small binder that I can hold with one hand. It lives in the open cube on the left hand side.

Overall I think it’s a functional altar, if not super elegant. I’d like to have a bigger working space eventually, ideally one that I could use outside, since a real fire would be nice for burning offerings. As it is, if I give spirits to the Shining Ones, they go in the same offering bowl with everything else, so I tend to give offerings of good incense to them. I’d also like a more proportional World Tree, so perhaps I’ll do some work with the driftwood one and trim it down and make a nice base for it. I think it’s a good Tree, just a little out of proportion with the rest of my space!

Posted in Dedicant Path, Dedicant Path Essays | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments »

The Magical Druid Shop

November 27, 2012 by Lauren M

I put in an order recently to The Magical Druid shop and have been really pleased with my decision to do so.

Not only did I get timely updates to my order (one of the items I ordered had to be hand made after I ordered it, so it took a little longer), but the items are beautiful and well made. I now have two small, wood burned World Trees, made from pieces of branches, to set on my altar, as well as an absolutely beautiful set of mahogany oghams. I also ordered some incense, but that’s mostly because I love incense, not because I truly needed any more. It’s a weakness, but I do burn it quite frequently.

The oghams came in a very plain linen bag. I’ve used them several times, and they’re smooth and well made. The symbols are clear, and so far they’re reading well for me. It’s really nice to have nice tools, and I’m doubly glad to have purchased them from a shop run by ADF members. They also used recycled packaging, and I’ve since repurposed the box they sent my items in as well. Recycling is good! Nature is good!

I highly recommend The Magical Druid to anyone, not only for the personal service but for the beautiful things they offer and for supporting a small Druid-run business.

Disclaimer: Nobody at the Magical Druid has any idea who I am. They are not paying me to say this.

Posted in General Things, Ogham | Tagged , , , , | 3 Comments »

Meditation Journal: Week 4

November 26, 2012 by Lauren M

This past week I got my meditations done only a few times. I try to meditate every day, but with an extra 6 people staying at my house, things were just a little on the crazy side. I did manage to do my after-work meditations on both Monday and Tuesday (the only days I worked), but beyond that it was just little 3 or 9 breath focus exercises when I needed to calm down in the midst of the crazy that was Thanksgiving. Looking back, I gave myself permission to let my daily practice go in the face of a lot of other stuff going on, something I’m very much OK with. I can often be too hard on myself, so having a sense of self-compassion (and being realistic) is a good step for me.

I’m looking forward to having my normal routine back this coming week.

Posted in Dedicant Path Essays, Meditation Journal | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments »

Secret Druid Tip: Holiday Feasts

November 23, 2012 by Lauren M

Since this week I am celebrating Thanksgiving with the rest of the United States, our Druid Tip is related to family gatherings and big feasts.

When you spend a lot of time making a big meal, consider taking a little bit of it outside as a sacrifice to your local Nature Spirits and Land Spirits.

I have an old stump in a corner of my yard where I like to leave food offerings to the local spirit life. Even if you live in an apartment, you can put a little bread with peanut butter out for the birds, or leave a little offering to the critters who might stop by in one of the green spaces of the apartment complex. Remembering the local spirits when you’re having a big feast is another little way to bring Druidry into your life.

Posted in Secret Agent Druid | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Happy Thanksgiving!

November 22, 2012 by Lauren M

I hope everyone in the US has a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday! Be well, and may your blessings today be many, and your relationships strengthened (with whomever you decide to celebrate, even if it’s just between you and your Gods)!

And if you’re not in the US, have a wonderful Thursday! I’ll eat a piece of pie in your honor!

Though I won’t have time or space to do a full ritual today, my hearth shrine will be very very busy with cooking and baking and burning candles. I love the energy of a bunch of people making a meal, and in my kitchen, there’s lots of room for people to cook together. I have lots of things to be thankful for, and my family (including my inlaws) are definitely on that list. Also I am hugely thankful for the medical care I’ve received over the last three years, that has brought me to the point where I am functioning like a well person again.

On a slightly more serious note, I hope you will choose not to shop on Thanksgiving, seeing as it’s the one holiday in our secular calendar that’s designed to be about being thankful for what you already have, and Friday will begin the Season of Buy All The Things. I’m saddened that retail workers will have to be at work for Thanksgiving – one of the few days they traditionally are allowed off at the same time as their families – and I hope this “experiment” by the big box stores of having huge “pre Black Friday” sales is a giant bust. Shopping can wait for one day. (Or if you must shop, do so online!)

I know that a holiday about being thankful isn’t a holiday that sells much stuff, but there have been Christmas/Holiday decorations and music playing since November 1 where I live. Let’s have a break from the commercialism for a day and rest and be thankful, even if it’s for very small things.

Posted in Seasonal Things | Tagged , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

« Newer Posts - Older Posts »