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Nothing new and exciting to report. I did a 10-15 minute seated meditation three times this week, and found that my focus is getting better again. Also that I tend to focus better when I meditate sitting in front of my altar – which is probably a combination of quiet space, a place that I’m used to doing work, and something about sitting on the floor feeling more “meditation-y”.

Also, this week, one of my cats has decided that he wants to try meditation too. Or rather, he finds my sitting on the floor to be a good excuse to bug me for pats. I’ve had to start locking him out of the room when I want to really focus, though at one point I just made HIM the focus of the meditation and tried to be really in the moment about it. Both approaches worked alright.

I did the full Two Powers meditation once this week as well. I’m getting better at feeling the sky power consistently – aided by the fact that it’s been very warm and sunny this week.

I’m feeling a little off-balance lately, both in my spiritual practice and in my everyday life. Things seem to be right on the edge of teetering out of control, which usually means it’s time for me to really step back and get things back in order. The struggles I’m having with my meditation practice are a pretty good indicator that I’m generally lacking focus as well – which isn’t a surprise, though I hadn’t really thought of using that as a metric before.

I’ve added in a lot of new things to my life in the last few months, and I think I need to do some evaluating of what I want to keep and what I want to let go. Not that I have a really good way of doing that, since I don’t want to overstructure things either.

Basically I’m trying to find the balance between the things that I need to do (cook/eat, work, exercise, sleep) and the things that I want to do (read, play games, do crafts) and figuring out where Druidry fits into that picture. I think it’ll end up somewhere between the two – it’s not a need the same way eating is, but it ranks higher up than knitting. At least in my mind that’s how it should work.

Fortunately it’s easy to build little bits of Druidry into daily life, like my morning devotions in the parking garage, or lighting candles on my “hearth” in the evenings. I need to keep THOSE things in mind (along with blogging!) and let go of some of the bigger desires for lots of ritual and dramatic experiences. I’m kind of a ritual junkie, and I should throw that energy at planning for Imbolc (which I’ve done very little of) instead of dreaming up new rituals and things to work on all the time. I don’t have a lot of time before the Holy Day (next Friday!) so I really do need to find a little focus to work out a ritual script.

Hopefully with a little conscious thought and planning, I can get things back into harmony again. I want my Druidry to integrate rather seamlessly into the rest of my life, and hopefully I can get to that point.

Nothing much new to report on the meditation front this week. I’m still doing my mental grove visualization, as well as sitting meditation (which I did twice this week). I don’t have any particular insights other than that I’m still not very good at this!

Tea with the Kindreds

I was talking with my DP Mentor about connections, and she mentioned that another person she knew had done a regular “beer with the Kindreds” devotion. She’d get a beer for Them, and a beer for herself, and sit and drink and talk with Them, and then journal about the experiences.

I loved the idea, so I’m trying my own version. I can’t drink beer (gluten), and mead is hard to find, but I’m a regular tea drinker, so I thought I’d do it with tea instead of beer.

Last night I brewed up a pot of my favorite (non-caffeinated) tea, poured a cup for myself and a cup to set on my altar, and sat to meditate and chat. I was a little worried that the Kindreds would prefer something … er … stronger than tea, but it seems to have been well received (and I suppose I can always put a little whiskey in THEIR cup, even if I don’t drink it myself).

I got a very good feeling from doing it, sort of a warm acceptance (that also made the hair on the back of my neck stand up at first). I didn’t feel alone, though I can’t say for sure which entities exactly showed up. It was definitely a little bit weird at first, and I’m not yet brave enough to talk to Them out loud (since I wasn’t alone in the house). Still I think I managed to create a space for communication. I imagine with time I’ll get better at identifying who I’m talking to as well. I ended up sitting with Them for about half an hour, talking about whatever popped into my head, and making sure I took time to listen as well. I didn’t hear any definite answers though. Maybe that will come with time and practice.

When I was done, I poured out the tea from the altar outside in my garden.

I will definitely do this exercise again, and I think I may combine it with a divination at the end as well. I’ve been wanting to do divination more regularly (I’ve gotten away from a weekly practice), and this seems like a good way to keep that communication line open as well. I’d also like to add invitations to specific God/esses once I get to know some of them better.

I’ve been working on the Ancestors essay for the DP, and finding that it’s a little hard for me to work with. I really like the division of Ancestors into different types of kin – from those whom you are actually related to by blood to those you have a spiritual connection to the ancient ones who worshiped in your chosen hearth culture. Even though I’ve had favorable interactions with them in the past, I’m still not sure exactly how I want to bring the Ancestors into my spiritual practice.

Part of this hesitation is that my blood-kin are extremely devout Protestant Christians (like the rest of my family), who would have looked very unfavorably on Druidry in life. I know I should expect that they have a different viewpoint on spiritual things from wherever they are in the afterlife, but I really don’t want to make anyone angry or upset.

At the same time, my great grandmother raised 11 kids on a farm in the Great Depression, and lived to read Peter Rabbit books with me when I was small. She was, by all accounts, a force of nature, and I’d love to have her advice on homemaking and life in general.

I think my first step will be seeing if I can track down some pictures to have with the other family pictures in my house. I don’t have a lot of experience working with the Mighty Dead, but I could sure use some extra wisdom some days.

My family doesn’t spend a lot of time talking about those who have passed away, at least not at this point in time, but I think a lot of that is because my extended family is still relatively intact. My paternal grandparents are still alive, and that’s the part of my family that has the most connection (my mom’s family consisted entirely of my maternal grandmother, who passed away some years ago, so I have no cousins or aunts and uncles to talk with about her). Both sides of my family have done some research into our family history and lineage, but it’s treated very intellectually as opposed to as a way to find family ancestors. I find myself more drawn to the photographs anyway, since I feel like I can actually get a sense of them as actual people as opposed to just names in a book.

As for the other types of ancestors, I have a few people who were mentors and teachers of mine who have since passed on. I truly value the time I spent learning from them, and am very glad I had their friendship. I don’t really have anything I can connect to them easily, though, aside from stories and experiences that I had while I was learning from them. Unfortunately I have no pictures of any of them, either. I’d like to represent them somehow on my altar, but a) it’s cluttered enough already and b) I’m not sure what I would use, since they represent a pretty diverse body of people.

Connecting to the Ancients who also practiced Druidry is something I haven’t explored at all yet, other than naming them in my Samhain ritual as part of the ancestors who were welcomed and honored at that feast. This might be an area where some focused meditation could work out well, or just working to remember them in my rituals.

This particular Kindred seems to include such a wide variety of people and entities. I think that may be why I’m struggling to get my mind around how to honor all of them. I can, of course, lump them together (as will usually happen in a High Day ritual, when one offering will be poured out for the Ancestors specifically), but I think I’d like to make a space for some of them separately as well. If nothing else, I can, when pouring out offerings to the Ancestors, pour out a little to each kind of Ancestor and remember them by type, if not by name. I’d also like to explore how the Norse remembered THEIR Ancestors, since I know they were venerated in that culture. Hopefully with a little more study I can find a balance of things that resonates with me.

I’m feeling a little bit of a slow down in my meditation practice, here at the halfway point of my mental discipline requirement (5 months = 20 weeks, more or less). I did a walking meditation early in the week, which didn’t go as well as I’d hoped. On Friday, though, I was sent a link to Andy Puddicombe’s TED talk about meditation and mindfulness that inspired me to get back to my 10 minute sitting meditation practice.

I recommend it highly, as a good introduction to the benefits of meditation. You can see it here.

While this is mindfulness meditation (as opposed to trance meditation or visualization meditation, both of which are more directly related to the practice of Druidry), I got a lot out of renewing the practice as a way to combat stress and difficult mental states, and the mental training is useful for other types of meditation. The ability to focus on the present moment, without distraction, feeds into being able to focus on a visualization or magical intent without distraction as well. Since I frequently deal with difficult mental states, which are (among other things) hindrances to focus and causes of distraction, I really like and benefit from the practice of mindfulness, even in little 10 minute chunks.

Find a jar candle that smells super yummy and keep it on your stove. After you’ve cooked and cleaned up dinner, light the candle to the Gods of your Home and Hearth and let it burn for awhile, filling your kitchen with delicious smells and reminding you of the Kindreds. If you have a hearth goddess (like Brigid) this is a good devotion to dedicate to her, but it also works just to keep a home hearth as well.

Right now I have an evergreen scented candle that I’m burning, but I also really like cinnamon and the various yummy-baked-goods-smelling ones.

This is a good time to say a quick prayer of blessing and protection for your home as well!

There’s been a lot of talk on the Dedicants list about the Two Powers meditation, and eventually I have to write an essay about it, so I figured I’d get some of my thoughts about this particularly ADF style of meditation written down.

I was already very accustomed to the “grounding” and Earth Power part of the Two Powers meditation before I started on this path of Druidry, so getting started with the Two Powers was pretty easy for me. That first connection happened almost without thinking about it, since I was already used to the tree roots imagery for grounding and centering energy.

Connecting to the Sky Power was a little more difficult, but I found that getting outside into the sun really helped. Fortunately, we don’t have too much grey here, even in the winter, so I have been able to actually feel the sun on my face, instead of trying to visualize it. I only had to do that a few times before I could get the visualization down. I’ve always been “solar powered” (which is a good thing to be, if you live in southeast Texas), so I just had to warm up to calling down that power instead of just basking in it like a lizard. (I may have been a lizard in a past life, for as much as I like basking in the sun.)

I love using Ceisiwr Serith’s prayer as the central point of my meditation, when I get both powers fully flowing:

The Waters support and surround me.
The Land extends about me.
The Sky reaches out above me.
At the Center burns a living flame.
(A Book of Pagan Prayer, p. 36-37)

There’s something really centering and powerful about saying that once I get the two powers flowing. It helps me to get a good feel for the mingling of the powers, as opposed to just housing the two currents themselves.

Also, I am looking forward to doing this meditation as an active meditation when I’m putting in my garden, since I’ll be elbow deep in the dirt, but standing in the sun. There’s a very tangible current to the two powers in a garden (or even in a potted plant grown from seeds) – the untapped potential lives in the earth, and is drawn forth and materialized and made orderly by the sun.

Overall I really like this meditation, and I’ve come to do a mini 5 step form of it when I’ve got a few minutes and feel like I need to ground and center at work:

  • relax
  • draw up the Earth Power
  • draw down the Sky Power
  • feel the two currents mingling
  • release

It takes only a minute or two, and it’s a nice desk-visualization. Connecting to the Earth Power is a little hard from the 9th floor, but after a little practice I can usually feel the current in a few breaths. If I was consistent about it, I’d make it a part of my lunch break every day, especially since I bring my lunch, and everyone else in my multi-cubicle goes out most days, so I have the place to myself.

I took to this form of visualization and meditation relatively easily, but I think that’s just a factor of having had a good bit of experience with both visualization and grounding before I came to ADF. This was a new way to experience grounding and centering (particularly the adding in of the Sky Power), but the function is something I was pretty used to doing. I don’t know if I will continue to use it as a daily practice long term, but it does seem to work well for keeping my brain engaged when I’m starting to get distracted.

In ritual, I try to focus on it for longer than I do in my daily practice, since I think it’s a little more important to be truly and fully grounded before attempting magic (which is what opening the gates really is). Sometimes that works and sometimes not – I still get a little anxious before full ADF rituals, so pausing to do this step is something I definitely need to focus on.

I did the Solitary Druid morning devotional this morning in my car. It was dark in the parking garage, and raining, so there wasn’t much sun to speak of, but I think I will continue doing them. I put together a little cauldron, a piece of orange fabric, and a tiny metal leaf for my traveling hallows – it’s not ideal, but they seem to work well in the car, and they all fit in a bag about the size of a pack of cards, which is perfect for keeping in the arm rest of my car. There fortunately aren’t very many people in the parking garage at 7am, so nobody will bother me!

Overall I like the devotion, though the “we are one in solitude” thing wears on me a little. I know it really appeals to some of the other solitaries, but for some reason I find it a bit… saccharine. If I don’t warm to it after doing it a few times, I may just skip that part and work only with the attunement to the hallows. Or edit it to be more to my liking.

I also definitely want to add a prayer to Sunna, and I found one that I like at NorthernPaganism.org

Morning Prayer to Sunna
by Galina Krasskova

Hail the rising of the Sun,
Great Goddess, Bestower of all good things,
Shining brightly, You traverse the heavens
Driving back the blanket of night.
Mighty Sunna, be my pace-setter.
Help me to structure my day rightly
With time to work, and play, and pray.
Let me not lose myself to the hammering call
Of all that has to be done.
Help me to follow Your rhythms,
For You are wise and practical
And Your presence blesses us all.

I’m going to write this up on an index card that I can keep in my car. Hopefully with a few repetitions I’ll have memorized it. (I may let my artsy side out and decorate the card a little too, since it will essentially be a prayer card, and that deserves to be pretty!) Even if I don’t get it memorized very quickly, I can add it to the end of my other morning devotions in the car.

Maybe I’ll make TWO index cards, one with the SDF devotional and one my prayer card to Sunna. That will be a fun little project.

I’m on the hunt for a morning devotion I can do in my car.

This is slightly unorthodox, I’ll admit, but I can’t really greet the sun before I leave for work, because it’s still quite dark when I leave. I love the idea of having a practice at a shrine in the mornings as the sun rises, but that’s just not going to be possible with my current commute.*

Most mornings, the sun comes up while I’m in my car. (I have quite a long commute) I don’t get to watch, since I’m driving North and … well, watching the sunrise while driving in traffic seems like a really good way to get either a ticket or an accident. Still, I enjoy watching the reflections off of buildings and signs, and having the world go from starry night to grey pre-dawn to bright early morning.

So I’d like to do a devotion while I’m experiencing that trip. I really like the morning devotional that the Solitary Druid Fellowship posted recently, but it feels very shrine based. I try to keep clutter down in my car, but I suppose I could keep a little electric candle, a water bottle, and a stick in a little bag for impromptu devotion. (A crane bag for my car?)

I don’t know if the parking garage is an ideal place for a sun devotion though. I will be giving this part a try anyway, I think, since I really do like the liturgy of that ritual. It’ll be limited in time (I can’t do it at sunrise every day, since I’m sitting in the parking garage at about the same time, regardless of when the sun comes up), but having a moment of grounding before I start the day sounds very nice.* I could also easily incorporate a daily divination, since I have my phone with me.

As for greeting the actual sun, maybe my first devotional writing in the Norse hearth will be to research poetry styles and write something simple to Sunna. If I can memorize it easily (which shouldn’t be a problem, since I’ll be writing it), I can say the prayer as I see the first glimmers and beams of light reflecting across the city. Not as good as the actual sunrise, but as close as I can get. Maybe I’ll write the prayer to reflect (ha ha) those reflections!

*While I like the idea of getting up on weekends to do a sunrise ritual, weekends are when I catch up on sleep, so I’m rarely out of bed before 9. Maybe I’ll do a sunset ritual on weekends instead? How do you guys differentiate the various schedules of your week if they have super different timing?